Monday, November 06, 2006

Van Man!

Moving house is rubbish. FACT. But you do get to have a van for a day, which is ace.

Let's 'AVE IT.

This allows you to:

1. Get a steak slice heated to the temperature of the earth’s core for breakfast, then drop it all down your trousers.
2. Drive like an arse.
3. Show your arse crack
4. Honk at girls in the street (WTMINA)*
5. Buy a load of porn (WTMINA)
6. Look down girl’s tops in the cars next to you (WTMINA)

So 3 then.

However the swines I hired from gave me a van with next to no fuel in saying – “bring it back at the same level”. Clearly they expect you to put in more than you need, then they get some for free. None of this full tank - fill it up when you return malarkey. So out of principle, I stuck a fivers worth in reckoning that would get me there and back.

Consequently I spent a nervous trip into town and back with the fuel warning light on constantly. But I made it – in your face Chiswick Van Hire.

Getting the wardrobe up three flights of stairs was another adventure altogether.

*WTMINA - When the missus is not around



Blogger Diary Cow said...

I trust you have learned to free wheel down hills with your foot on the clutch to save fuel in these dodgy moments.

6:27 PM  

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