Monday, October 30, 2006

Amelia Anne is at it again.

They have been digging a hole at the end of the road for ooooh about 8 years. No idea how deep it is yet but when I walked past today I SWEAR I could hear digeridoos.

This is part of the antipodeans' underhand invasion plans - you gotta watch em. New Zealand population of 3 million my arse, there are more than that in my office.

And another thing - those pissed Scotsmen that turn up everywhere. Faking it. FACT. Once they have enough in every major city, on a secret signal they will rise up and take over the world.

Don't say I didn't warn you when your kids are being force fed deep fried heroin.


See, this is what evil dictators look like these days.

154

Friday, October 27, 2006

Jellybelly!

Watching Animal House again the other day I was struck by a line by Dean Wormer. When he says "Fat drunk and stupid is no way to go through life" does he mean Flounder?


OR, vast swathes of the Great British public?

153

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Patricia Hewitt you PIG!

This just in... Pictures at 11... So Patricia Hewitt eats INFINITY portions of fruit and veg a day. Now there are those who might consider that a bit excessive, especially hungry tear stained children asking "Mummy where have all the apples gone?". Inside Hewitt's big tummy that's where.


Patricia Hewitt yesterday.

151

Monday, October 09, 2006

Deres Dese Tree Fellers

This morning I found this in the road outside my house.

Not this actual one admittedly, I cheated and used an internet.

It is a Ginkgo leaf. Now I have never seen a Ginkgo tree in my neighbourhood and as far as I know they do not grow in the wild. So somebody must be distributing perfect leaves on the streets near my house. Makes a change from the normal kind of leaves sold round here I can tell you.

The ONLY explanation, given Ginkgo's properties of increasing bloodflow to the extremities is that someone is trying to make my hat, glove and viagra shop go bankrupt.

I shall keep an eye on this.

146

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

BOMB SCARE!

Only joking - it's good for morale.

Yesterday, upon noticing the steady accumulation of my clothing in the office, I collected all my items together in a big plastic bag to take home - clever. I then left THE LOT on the Piccadilly line - stupid.

If you see someone wearing a pair of vile swimming shorts, a limited edition Germany '06 t-shirt (sorry Al, I did appreciate that) and a black pac-a-mac, nab em. There were other items, most of them quite smelly.

What is perhaps most worrying thing about this, is that I clearly have, sorry had, the wardrobe of a tramp.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

derderlerderlderlerderlder....situation

Really been enjoying these two, wonderfully silly. I love the sound of two grown men mucking around and getting paid for it. It's also wonderful how FILTHY they are for Dublin morning radio. Transport, Up North and C.H.I.P.S are especially good.


Thanks to Dick and Selena for that one.
143