Thursday, September 28, 2006

Blimey!

I got bored of that really quick.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Oh Yes! Oh Yes! it's the great charleston contest!

Well actually it isn't. In the interests of propagating rubbish jokes, I shall be attempting to do one daily crap joke in the "My Wife" format until I *ahem* run dry.

So here goes - Day 1

My wife saw a terrible band in the far east.
Singapore?
Yes, and the rest were pretty shoddy as well.

I hope this sets the tone.

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Friday, September 22, 2006

In the beat of the night.

I have a bad knee. I have ligament damage here, here and here, not to mention cartilage damage here. It hurts a lot, and I often wake in the night in great pain. It's fun - you should try it.

So you can imagine how happy I was when in a rare moment of undisturbed sleep, the lovely lass snoozing beside me rolled over, and with amazing anatomical accuracy, performed a perfect roundhouse kick to the most tender part of the joint.

Now I imagine the resulting screams could be heard in Azerbaijan, as I managed to deafen myself in the process. So to all my neighbours, their neighbours and anyone else in a 5 mile radius of chez smahman, I apologise profusely.

I don't hold it against her. I can't move to do so.

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Monday, September 18, 2006

Hey! I am not kidding.

ONE DAY TO GO!



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Friday, September 08, 2006

Miniature Thug.

This little grumpy face would one day grow up and find they had a number one single. BUT who is it? Answers on a postcard please.


Come on - give us a smile.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Oop Oop!

I did go to monkey world the other day, it was ace. There were monkeys and apes and lemurs. Favourites were the stump tailed macaques with their little red faces, but Orang Utans are still the daddy of the ape world - FACT. No piccies - sorry.

But best of all, due to my ongoing leg issues I was allowed to use a proper spaz chariot to get around the park.

If you go backwards down quite a steep slope and then engage full forward you come within a gnats whisker of tipping the damn thing up, which I found endlessly entertaining, as did junior who hitched a ride for most of the day.

For her (and secretly, me) it was the best bit of the day, even if our combined weight often slowed us to a crawl on hills.

A close second was trying to explain the workings of evolution to a six year old. WHAT! Granny's mummy nused to be a monkey!

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