Wednesday, June 21, 2006

On priapic pissing.

Having a wee with a bone on is always a little tricky. For years the lean forward - stand back - hold cock down technique has worked well, if not perfectly. What’s a few urine splashes between friends.

Well the other day I invented a new one. By slipping a softening dobber under the loo seat and sitting down like a gurly, once locked in place one should achieve 0 splashing.

Not so. What actually happens is a jet of piss shoots from the gap between rim and seat, across the floor, drenching both bath mat and calves.

There is no way to come away from that looking good.

Next time I will just wiz in the bath.

5 Comments:

Blogger LadyJaneM said...

Hey Smahman. Did you conduct this experiment in the comfort of your own home, or someone else's?

3:56 PM  
Anonymous smahman said...

I cannot tell you that.

4:48 PM  
Blogger business voodoo said...

lol ... thanks for the levity! glad i decided to give the blog a surf after reading some of those news headlines!

peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

9:13 AM  
Blogger Gustave Hetter said...

If you're really lucky with the sit down one, you might get all cess in your pants. I speak from bitter experience.

8:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a straight, white male in 21st Century America with a strong femminine side to me, I sometimes actually scare some of my also straight male freinds to death, never actually getting called a queer or anything but more usually something more like "slut!" or if I really spread my legs open wide as I chew on a gross looking wad of chewing gum just like one of those truely disgustingly dirty in every offensively evil, nasty and sometimes crule ways women can be,
well, I usually for each and every sickeningly way to long for some to bear to see or even have to hear my moaning growing only louder the harder I begin to squat down on the toilet below my dark, deep low area of my unshaved pubis,
now looking like some evil queen as I appear to now sit just so royally like a bitch would ever wish to as I shout dirty words up to God to hear "Oh God,damn yes! I really do know how to spray my load of hot sizzling stinking foul piss straight down into your very soul, lest I should ever wish to befoul and pollute the very soil beneath my feet in which you are dead and buried in by pissing all over your grave!!!"...Well, let's just say I know how to squat down and take a big piss straight down just like such a wickedly slutty bitch would, that I have acctualy been called a whore once, but hey I still am quite comfortable with being a man and knowing I'ts all just an act.

8:18 AM  

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