Wednesday, May 31, 2006

What the hell are they playing at out there!

It was fracas central outside my house all last night. Police cars, shouting, sawing, crash bang wallop. I imagined it looked a bit like this.

And in morning - NOTHING. Just one little broken pane of glass on the house opposite. Sometimes you just can't win.


Tuesday, May 30, 2006

It's becoming an obsession.

One is a source of much joy to millions; the other is a slack jawed imbecilic harridan. Can you guess which is which?


Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Come Again?

If you play Grandma's Footsteps without Grandma, is that not simply a running race? To a Wall.

Advanced group dynamics indeed.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

A True Story

Wittgenstein threw down his pen in disgust. “I hate doing my Tractatus Logico Philosophicus” he said “I want to play outside”.

"Not until you have proved its existence", said his mum rather tetchily. "Honestly, if you stopped twatting around with that beetle in a matchbox and got down to it, you would have finished by now, that is the case".

Wittgenstein sighed and carried on with his homework.

Meanwhile in the playground, Socrates was getting sucked off by an 10 year old boy. “I may know nothing” he said “but I know this fucking ROCKS”

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

The next few weeks are going to be hellish.