Friday, April 28, 2006

Weigh to GO!

Electronic bathroom scales are ace. Especially if you are a borderline Asperger’s case with scatological leanings.

For months now I have been weighing my poo. By really holding back I can do nearly three pounds of poo and wee in one go. I ROCK!

I shall be recording my poo weights in a kind of log book.

When I first tried this out at a friends house and declared proudly I had just done a one and a half pound shit, he thought I had weighed it on the scales rather than myself before and after.

Still not sure who comes out looking worse.


Friday, April 21, 2006

Fun in the Morning

My girlfriend’s flat backs onto the tube tracks and one of my absolute favourite things is to leap around nude as the trains pass. I like to think I am rewarding the eagle eyed commuter.

It’s really is tremendous fun but not when you get busted. It’s quite hard to explain exactly why you might be doing naked star jumps at 8 in the morning.

I like to exercise the mind as well as the body.

Sadly the drones of the district line have yet to cop an eyeful. I think I need a bigger cock, if anyone knows how to get one can they send me an email or something.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006


Next time I see Herring I will murder him.